I’m a stay-at-home mom…that pretty much sums it up. I graduated from high school at the top of my class, went on to study civil engineering, worked in that profession for 5 years and got my professional license. Then I had a baby…my entire life changed.
I had always thought I’d love to be a stay-at-home mom, but when I got pregnant, I thought “I need to work, we need the money, and I’ve worked too hard for the last 5 years to give it up.” The truth of the matter was that I didn’t love my job, but thought we couldn’t live without it. Then our little Princess was born. Every day with her was amazing and my maternity leave flew by! It was time to go back to work. The first few days went by in a haze…by the end of the week I was in my boss’s office crying about how I couldn’t handle being away from her. We had the babysitter from hell (or so I, as a very emotional first-time mother whom didn’t really like her job in the first place, thought). She actually took the kids out of the house, so at any given time I didn’t really know where my child was! At the time, it was the worst thing ever, but I’m a bit of a control freak and overreact about everything – now it doesn’t seem like such a big deal. I followed my first 32-hour week up by working 4 or 5 16-hour weeks, gave my two-weeks notice and over 3 years later, I’m still home.
Before baby, my day consisted of going to work, watching TV and sleeping. My husband and I have never been very neat and didn’t mind our mess too much. We ate out a lot, didn’t watch our budget, and I had quite the shopping problem – retail therapy, I call it. Stressful day, argument with hubby, let’s go shopping! Now, we still have some of the same issues…eat out too much, spend too much money (now on my daughter because I/we want her to have everything) and we still watch too much TV. I’ve never really had any outside interests and to this day, still don’t.
Every day has it’s own adventure with a little one. Just when I think I’ve got the hang of this motherhood thing, Princess goes through a new phase. I’m trying to raise my little girl to be the best person she can and still trying to satisfy all the needs in my life and figure out who I am. But what are those needs? Who am I? I’m 31 and still not sure what my interests are and what I’m going to do with my life – especially after all the kiddies are in school. And when do you find the time to figure all of this stuff out? I have a 3 ½-year old and 1-year old to take care of. My “me” time is getting shorter and shorter, so how do you do it…balance your family’s needs with your own? Sure I could wait until the kids are in school to figure everything out, but wouldn’t my life and theirs be more fulfilled if mommy is happier, more engaged in life instead of rotting in front of the TV or computer?
So that’s me and my family…I’ve put together this blog to keep track of my quest to becoming a better me, thus being a better mom to my little girls. They need someone to look up to and guide them, but if I’m lost in this world, how am I to guide them? I’ll also be discussing my “mom” problems, including some activities my little ones enjoy, and ideas on how to deal with some of the 3-year old issues.
