I received a forward tonight that I've probably seen a million times (and has probably been passed around a billion more), but tonight it struck a cord with me. I rarely send forwards to others, so if you ever send one to me and don't get it back, please don't be offended. The forward I received described a teacher who did an experiment with her kids. She first told each one how they had made a difference in her life and gave them a ribbon that read "Who I Am Makes A Difference." She then gave each student 3 more ribbons and asked them to perform the same ceremony with someone who's made a difference in their lives. And it goes on to show how a boy's life was saved when he was given the ribbon. I'm not sure if this is a true story, but I realized that I do not tell people in my life enough how much I appreciate them and what a difference they've made in my life. So rather than send out another forward, I thought I'd address the email in my blog.
My husband once asked me why I've added friends on facebook that I haven't seen in years. "Why are you talking to these 20-something kids that you coached over 10 years ago?" To him it may not seem important or weird, but those "kids" were a huge part of my life while I was growing up. And yes, I mean growing up. I started teaching preschool gymnastics at age 15 and at age 17 I became, rather suddenly, the head coach of our Y's gymnastics team. Prior to coaching, I had competed with a majority of the girls. They were a part of my family. I spent 3 nights a week and every other weekend with them (some for more than 6 years of competition). I continued to coach my first year of college and then lost track of the girls. I felt it was easier to cut ties because some of the younger girls would get upset when I'd pop in to visit. When I wasn't at the gym coaching (or at school or doing school work), I was planning what each individual girl would be working on at each practice, what the best order to have the girls compete in would be, etc. I spent hours upon hours worrying about those girls every week for several years. While I might have lost contact with the girls, they've always held a special place in my heart and I was very happy to catch up with a few of them and see that all were doing well (and so grown up now!).
Now that I'm a parent, I realize all of the sacrifices my parents made while I was growing up. I mean, I had a sense of it during my teenage years (I was rather mature back then), but you can never fully appreciate it until you're a parent. I sometimes try to convince myself that they couldn't possibly have loved me as much as I love my kids. How heartbreaking to have my daughter get married and move away! I hope by the time that happens, it will be easier than the thought of it now. If I mention to Princess that one day she'll get married and move out, she tells me in a very sad voice with tears in her eyes "Mommy, I don't ever want to leave your house." And I respond, "Baby, you can live with us forever." And for now we're both happier to live life thinking this way. But one day I know I will get to experience exactly how my parents felt when I moved out.
Speaking of getting married and moving out, I certainly can't leave my husband out of this, now can I? We've been married for nearly 9 years. I can hardly believe it! It seems like just yesterday we were sitting in his room at UD watching wrestling and hanging out with our friend Tony. Hubby's been there to support me over the last 12 years. He was the one whispering "calm down, it'll be fine" as I cried through our linear algebra final. He was there to hand me Advil and Pepto and hold my hair back as I threw up during my many migraines (I would like to say I'd do the same for him, but we both know I can't handle puking). He was there to support and encourage me through the birth of both of our daughters. He was the one who finally said "enough is enough" when I came home from work crying again because I missed Princess all day. It's because of his love and support that I could ignore all the comments and looks I got when I was still nursing Princess after her second birthday. And while he didn't always agree with me not letting the girls cry it out when they wouldn't sleep through the night (and Mouse still doesn't), he was supportive of my choice.
So to my husband and daughters, parents, brother, and sister, and extended family and friends, I want you all to know that you each have had an impact on my life. You have each contributed something to the person I've become. I look at my two little girls and think "I must be a pretty good mom" because they are both incredible, loving, happy little girls. And so I thank each and every one of you for the influence you've had on my life and want you to know that you each hold a special place in my heart.
