Finding Mommy

Lightbulb - literally!

Well I've started reading a new book called The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers to help out with some of our bedtime/naptime battles.  I read the book for babies, but nothing at the time seemed to work or apply.  I think now that maybe Princess was just a bit old to start using that book.  So far I find the toddler version very helpful and interesting.  Elizabeth Pantley explains the sleep cycle and the importance of both naptime and bedtime.  She also offers a table with suggested hours of sleep for each based on your child's age (that's most children, not all apply).

As I've read more, she gives a list of sleep cues that your toddler may exhibit and also signs that you're child is overtired.  Some of these are very obvious...crankiness, rubbing eyes, etc.  There were some that I found a bit surprising...hyperactivity, having trouble falling asleep, and complaining of stomachaches, for example.  As I read it, I'm thinking these should really be obvious, but to a mom that has been having trouble getting her child to sleep for 2.5 years, I should be forgiven for not thinking of it.  There are obviously plenty of moms who go through the same thing or they wouldn't have books about sleep by the dozens!  And our children's sleep habits are continually changing so it's always nice to get a few tips!

So now after a week of trying some of the tips out, Princess has been doing a bit better.  The book suggested that if your child doesn't fall asleep in 15-20 minutes at naptime, you get up, let them do a quiet activity for a little while and then try again (unless it's getting too late for a nap).  The first day I tried this and after 20 minutes we gave up naptime (unfortunately I had errands to take care of and they took longer than expected, so naptime was started much later than I would've liked).  We then started our bedtime routine at 7, skipping bathtime so that she could go to bed a little earlier and she was asleep in 5-10 minutes.  Nice!

Day 2 Princess fell asleep for her nap in 10 minutes.  By calling it "quiet time" instead of naptime, I've eliminated some of the fussing (I'd usually have to carry her up the stairs kicking and screaming) and she almost happily complies.  She isn't falling asleep on her own, but I'm happy to be there to cuddle her for 10 minutes, or even 20, just so long as it's not an hour.  We started our bedtime routine that night at 7pm in hopes that she'd be asleep by 8pm.  It took a little longer than I'd hoped, but she did fall asleep quicker than normal.  We usually leave the bathroom light on with our door open because she complains about being in the dark.  Tonight I noticed that the light seemed to be bothering her a bit and partially closed the door (all this after 40 minutes of cuddles)...she was asleep in 2 minutes!  That should've been a no-brainer. 

Since the first two somewhat successful days, Princess has been doing better, but we're not quite there yet.  I have been waking her up consistently at 7am every morning and this has helped with getting her down for an earlier nap and bedtime.  Some nights I've had to sit with her for an hour, but I still get to leave the room before 8:30pm which is so much better than sometime between 9 and 10.  We do occassionally skip her nap if it's taking too long to get her to sleep, but this usually results in meltdowns around dinner time.  I plan to keep trying and hopefully as our routine gets more consistent, she'll fall asleep more easily.

Bedtime Woes

Right now, my little one, who is supposed to be napping, is singing and reading in her room. This is getting to be a daily occurrence. Nothing I try works. Wake her up earlier; routine, routine, routine – in fact, the only thing routine about her naptime is that she doesn’t want it! We have the same issues with bedtime. I took her upstairs at seven last night for bath time. Then it’s get dressed, read story, and cuddle to sleep. Well, sort of cuddle to sleep. It’s usually at least an hour of me telling her “Princess, close your eyes and go to sleep” every five to ten minutes.

I would wonder if it has something to due with the new baby coming, but we have ALWAYS had sleep issues with Princess. When she was a baby, my husband would have to lie with her on his chest, the vacuum cleaner running, from 11pm to 2 am every night. If you turned the vacuum off, she’d immediately wake up and cry. I was never one capable of letting her cry it out. When I finally decided we should let her cry it out a bit, my husband thought it was a mean (she was about a year). From there, she moved into our bed. She didn’t sleep through the night until she was nearly two. Before age two, she would wake up once during the night to nurse.

So now she’s sleeping through the night, but nearly impossible to get to sleep. It’s usually a 2-hour process from the time I take her up for her bath until she finally falls asleep. I’ve tried taking her up earlier for some extra quiet time, still wouldn’t fall asleep until at least 9. I’ve tried moving her bedtime back so that I wouldn’t have to be lying with her for such a lengthy amount of time, but still 2 hours.

Well, now she’s two and a half, can climb out of all beds, and will not sleep alone. If I leave her in our bed, she’ll climb down and run after me. If I leave her in her bed with a baby gate at the door…she will make quite the fuss. I just don’t have it in me to allow her to cry for long. And on top of that, I’m seven months pregnant, and really not emotionally equipped to handle the crying. The other night Princess said to me “mommy, I need you. I need your help to go to sleep. You HAVE to take care of me.” Very cute on the one hand, but frustrating on the other. How can I compete with that emotional manipulation?!?

I have decided that naptime can be a bit more of quiet time and we’ll see how that goes. Mommy needs a little time to rest/clean/whatever during the day. So I put Princess up in her room, take out the toys (so she’s only left with books), and let her be for a while. I still have the monitor in her room, so I can hear everything that’s going on. She starts in her bed, with a quick cuddle and kiss, then I leave her to “fall asleep” on her own. After about 20-30 minutes, we start again. I check on her, lay her back in bed, cuddle and kiss, and I leave. Then at 15 minute intervals (she seems to get rather rowdy after the first break) or sooner if she calls me. She finally fell asleep this afternoon, after I had made several trips up and down the stairs, when I sat with her and rocked her for a couple of minutes.

Not the best solution to the issue, but hey, at least I’m not laying in bed with her the ENTIRE hour and a half ready to pull my hair out.